Not everyone that uses online dating agencies finds rejecting someone else easy. Despite most agencies recommending that if you want to reject someone you should do it quickly and honestly, many people really aren't comfortable doing it. They try to find subtler ways of doing it, hoping that you'll pick up on it.
We thought we'd try to write a crash course in rejection so that people might see it when or if it happens to you. Obviously people find it relatively easy to reject someone on the first message and in fairness most people won't be that upset about it. People find it harder to reject the more a relationship develops. If you've been trading messages for a while but haven't yet exchanged any personal contact details and the messages suddenly stop then you've probably been rejected. It may not be obvious why the messages have stopped. Online dating agencies often suggest that you might try sending one more message perhaps saying (if it's true) 'I was enjoying our conversations over the past days/weeks/months. I'm sorry that I haven't heard from you for a while. I hope that you're just really busy and will write back soon. If not, I won't trouble you again.' It says that you recognise what may be happening and you might get a message back to say why things have come to an end or why that's not the case at all!
Just because you haven't heard from someone for a few days doesn't always mean the worst though. Your date may have been called away because of a family illness, they may have had an accident or more likely something much less dramatic will have happened such as their computer going wrong. Not everyone is able to fix their own and it may be away for a while being repaired! Even online dating agencies have their technical problems so it may be worth sending an e-mail to them asking them to check out your account.
Obviously, if you've got to the stage of meeting in person then it would be lovely if everyone would be honest enough to give you a reason for not wanting to see you anymore. Unfortunately this isn't always the case but good indicators are that their answering machine is always 'fielding' your calls and they don't call you back, or they say they'll call and never do, or you feel as if you're making all the effort to get together. Warning bells should be going off in your head if you've never met any of their friends especially after suggesting that you'd like to a few times - why are they hiding you away? If any or all of the above apply to you then the best thing is probably to just accept it and not contact them again - if they want to talk to you they know where you are. You'll also give yourself an easier time rather than pursuing them and wondering if they'll call - accept it's over and move on - there are many more people and dating sites out there for you to try!
Next - Rejection when dating sets you free!
Copyright © 2000-2009 Pearmatch.co.uk